


Will We Be Okay?

by monica4l



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Liam, Bottom Zayn, Daddy Kink, Happy Ending, Harry Styles - Freeform, LITERALLY, Liam Payne - Freeform, Louis Tomlinson - Freeform, M/M, Promise, Sad, Top Liam, Top Zayn, Zayn Malik - Freeform, because both top zayn and liam is amazing, but then happy, double the daddy kink, it's my first official ziam fic that i've finished, it's there but vague, larry - Freeform, larry is mentioned but it's vague, mentions of girlfriends only, ok thank, sad beginning, this ain't my first rodeo, why did I write this, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-08
Updated: 2014-10-08
Packaged: 2018-02-20 10:52:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2426099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monica4l/pseuds/monica4l
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam proposes to Sophia one night at their concert. The world is happy.</p><p>Zayn loses his mind, and maybe his sanity.</p><p>It all goes south.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Will We Be Okay?

**Author's Note:**

> This one shot emerged from the engagement rumors that one night. I struggled with this but thank you to any of you who helped me with any ideas.
> 
> If this one goes well I'll probably do more of them :D
> 
> Follow me on twitter: @ljpmaliks
> 
> I just really love ziam and yeah this is probably what would happen if Liam got engaged. (God forbid)
> 
> Enjoy!

If there was ever a moment in time where Zayn could just disappear and not deal with what he's witnessing, it would definitely be right now, in this very moment.

It's like, Liam didn't even give him a warning, he didn't mention _any_ of this to him. The last thing Zayn thought he'd have to witness is the man he loves proposing to his girlfriend in the middle of their concert. Literally, he stopped the show just to call her up and get on one knee.

Zayn knew something was going on today. Something told him deep down that things would go terribly wrong. But unlike Liam, Zayn had actually told him about his set up engagement with Perrie. He told him to prepare for it, because it was coming, so Liam did.

What Zayn did not expect was for a year to pass, and then _bam_ , Liam is proposing to his girlfriend of one year.

Okay, yeah Zayn knows their relationship is fake. Liam really isn't dating Sophia, but Liam's gotten so good at pretending to be the perfect boyfriend, it sometimes freaks Zayn out.

Zayn just witnessed his own boyfriend propose to someone else, as if that wasn't bad enough. He's really hoping this is all just some terrible nightmare and any moment now he'll wake up. But Zayn's not dreaming; he's awake and wondering why is this occurring.

That's not the worst part about all of this. Yes it's pretty bad, but it's not even that fact, because Liam belongs to Zayn; it's the fact that Liam didn't tell Zayn he was going to propose to her. Just like that, in the middle of their concert.

He wants to look away, but he can't. His stomach churns as he looks at the oh so happy couple pretend to be happy they just got engaged. This has become all of Zayn's nightmares into a fucking reality. His boyfriend is proposing to his own fake girlfriend and Zayn just wants to know why the hell didn't anyone tell him this was going to happen. Deep down, he's hoping this is just a prank. A cruel prank, but a prank nonetheless. He wouldn't mind.

He nearly loses his shit when Liam leaves a chaste kiss on Sophia's lips to make it even more believable, the soon to be bride hugging Liam too amorously. Zayn's never been her biggest fan. It's not that she's a bad person, or anything like that, it's just that Zayn _can't_ stand her. He can't stand that she gets to hold Liam's hand in public, gets to kiss him, gets to have a relationship for the world to see. It frustrates him most times because, _fuck_ , Liam is his. It has been that way since the longest.

Meanwhile Zayn and Liam do everything in secrecy. They kiss when they can, tease each other on stage, and make love when no one's around. That's their life. One _big_ , full lie.

It's the simple fact that Zayn envies Sophia because he's the one who should be getting proposed to, kissing Liam in public, letting the god damn world know that's his man. But Zayn _can't_ , he can't because they've signed a contract, a contract that would cost their ass billions if ever fucked with.

Sometimes, Zayn wants to say fuck it. He doesn't care how much money he loses if they sue the fuck out of him for breaching the contract if it means being able to tell everyone that hey, he's Zayn _fucking_ Malik and his boyfriend is Liam _god damn_ Payne. He's in love with a man and damn it that man loves him too.

All Zayn can do is see red, the blood running through his veins boils with fury. He doesn't understand why Liam didn't tell him this was happening. Why in the _fuck_ it's even happening. He doesn't understand the purpose behind this scheme. They have him engaged already, they don't need Liam pretending like he's tying the knot too.

And it's not because of that why he's upset, no. Well, yes, he's _pissed_ as _fuck_ because Liam proposed to Sophia on stage and all he could do was stand and watch as the love of his life ask someone else for their hand in marriage. He wishes Liam would have given him a warning, because at least he wouldn't want to breakdown crying in front of eighty thousand fans had he known this would happen. He hates it when he gets emotional on stage; surely wouldn't even be the first time.

Zayn can see from a distance as the crowd aw's and cheers at the supposed newly engaged couple; some fans happy to see their idol finding " _the one_ ", when she's not the one. Zayn would like to think he's the one for his Liam, because no one can seem to make Liam smile the way Zayn does. It sucks that people can't see that, but it sort of is a good thing. Their relationship isn't something that needs to be exploited like Liam and his fake girlfriend, Zayn believes.

It's ridiculous how overly publicized the relationship is, Zayn thinks, when they're supposed to be a private couple. It's the same shit they pulled with him and his fiancée. It's the same cycle being repeated all over _again._

Zayn is just wondering why Liam didn't discuss this with him, tell him that he's going to have to propose and let the whole world know that he's getting married. At least Zayn didn't have to do it in front of an audience. He didn't want Liam to see any part of it, because he knew Liam's too fragile to endure something like that.

The rest of the concert, all Zayn can do is try not to cry; keep the straightest face he can and avoid looking at Liam at all costs. He's even more pissed at the fact that Liam has a stupid, wide grin plastered on his face, jumping and dancing on stage. He won't even bother to at least check up on Zayn, or even dare glance at him. He's avoiding him just as much.

He seems way too happy now that he's engaged. She's not really his girlfriend, he's really not going to marry her, but it still _fucking_ sucks.

The concert ends on a happier note; the usual fireworks, all of the boys happy and patting Liam on the back for show. They know Liam is with Zayn, but they've got to make it look believable, and unfortunately, they are.

The boys hurry off stage, glistening in sweat, heavy pants and wide smiles. All except for Zayn, who runs off the minute they're backstage. He's storming off into his own dressing room, shutting the door unexpectedly slow. He realizes that he's acting a little to calm, even for him, who's known to punch shit when he's angry.

Because that's what he is. He's angry that Liam just fucking proposed to Sophia, and while Zayn knows it wasn't his idea, it still doesn't stop it from irking the fuck out of him because that's his boyfriend, god damn it. That's his man and if anything, he's the one that should be getting asked if he wants to get married. Hell yeah Zayn sees a future with Liam.

How could he not? They met each other before they even knew what their fate would be. Zayn didn't know that the shy, fringe haired boy who really caught his attention in that McDonald's would be the same guy he'd get to call his boyfriend. The love of his entire life, who just so happens to be getting married. He's sure the whole world knows by now. This kind of stuff spreads like wildfire.

Zayn huffs, panting as he goes for the mirror with bright lights. He holds himself up with both his arms on the white table, his hands clenched into tight fists. He's trembling, _literally_ shaking; he is going to fucking snap.

And he does. " _FUCK_!" He screams, throwing everything that is on top of the table with his arm; all things scatter onto the floor. If there's anything he really wants to hit, it's himself, but he refrains. He knows if he hurts himself and ends up with a bruise, he'll get in a lot of shit for it.

The adrenaline is pumping rapidly through him, his veins pulsating against his tanned skin. Fuck, he just wants to _hit_ something, _anything_. It's not until there's enough moisture in his eyes and ache in his heart that he realizes he's crying; he chokes out a sob and cries. He lets the tears run down his cheeks, not even attempting to push them away or anything. They just flow and he thinks it won't stop until he runs out of tears.

He's wondering why Liam, or any of the boys for that matter,  are not looking for him. Zayn thinks it's because they know how pathetic he is right now for crying, but he can't help it. He feels as if he's lost Liam to the girl he has to call his girlfriend.

Zayn slides down on his back on the cool wall, bringing his knees up to his chest and just burying his face because _fuck_ , if anyone saw him crying like this, he'd be mortified. He doesn't understand why they made Liam propose, they haven't done anything that is compromising. To them at least. They've kept their interactions at a minimum, and if they do interact, it's nothing major.

He can't bare the pain though. It hurts, it really fucking hurts that now he has to go through what Liam went through. He thought they were over that. Together, they had availed the engagement, only to be brought right back to it.

"Zayn?" He hears a familiar voice, a voice that he wished he was only imagining. He doesn't bother to look up, he just keeps on crying, like a little baby. _How humiliating_! "Babe?" He hears the door to his dressing room shut silently, the clicking making it evident.

"Please, please go away, Liam." He cries, hugging his knees even tighter. He hasn't cried like this in a while.

" _Zayn_!" He hears Liam gasp, sprinting towards his side as he kneels on the floor next to him. "Zayn, Zayn baby look at me. Please look at me." Liam pleas, trying to lift Zayn's head up but he can't, because Zayn refuses to lift his head up. He knows the only way to lift Zayn's head up would be to use force, which means that it would hurt him, and Liam figures he's hurt Zayn _enough_ for one day.

"Liam, fuck. I said go away." Zayn's muffled quivers give away that he's a crying mess. Damn it, as if he needed that.

"You need to listen to me. Please Zayn." Liam's begging at this point, not wanting to leave his crying boyfriend here all alone. What kind of sick boyfriend would do that? It's breaking his heart. He never, ever wants to be the reason Zayn suffers or cries. It's _too_ fucking much.

"Listen to what?" Zayn spits, lifting his head abruptly to finally meet Liam's saddened expression. "That you fucking proposed to your girlfriend and didn't bother to tell me it was going to happen? You always told me everything, Li. We never kept secrets from each other."

"I was going to tell you." Liam begins, knowing damn well to keep his distance from Zayn. He sees that he's fuming, and an angry Zayn isn't his favorite. He punches things, not him through. Zayn wouldn't dare hit Liam, ever. He loves him so much, he loves him so _damned_ much, it physically hurts.

"When?" Zayn asks, using the back of his hand to wipe the tears that are now burning his eyes. "Tell me when, Liam."

"It all happened so quick. I didn't even know myself until last night. I got the call and, and I didn't know how to react."

"And you couldn't tell me?" Zayn admonishes him, wondering why the hell Liam couldn't have just told him the situation instead of feeling completely humiliated over the entire thing.

Liam closes his eyes, a pained look that isn't seen too often. "I'm sorry. They told me it would give the band a lot of buzz if Liam Payne weds his non famous girlfriend. I didn't really have a choice."

"Yes you did." Zayn grits through his teeth. "You had every choice in the world. You could have said no, _fuck_ \--you had every right to say no. It's already bad enough I'm engaged." And Zayn remembers clear as day what Liam's reaction was. He was left speechless, it shocked him that Zayn was now known as the engaged one.

Sometimes he wonders how people didn't catch on to how Liam really felt just by looking at his face whenever the engagement was brought up. It was like watching baby puppies being tortured. Liam couldn't stand it; couldn't that his boyfriend was off the market, when he has been previously before that.

Liam's frown only gets bigger, his brows centering together. He's thinking that perhaps Zayn is right, he could have said no, but the consequences would've had higher risks. Liam knew it would effect something related to his relationship with Zayn, which is why he did it. Even if he has to endure a pissed off Zayn with tear stained cheeks.

"M'sorry." Is the only thing Liam can come up with. "Fuck, Zayn. I'm only doing what I'm supposed to. For us. You and I, babe."

Zayn scoffs, throwing his hands up in the air exaggeratedly. "How is you getting engaged benefiting us, Liam? Do you realize that you now have to act like a happy, soon-to-be husband?"

"You did the same thing." Liam retorts. Which really isn't a good thing to bring up at the moment. He knows Zayn's job is to promote and sell, and he does it fairly well. Not as good as Liam, Zayn thinks. Liam to the whole world is known as the perfect boyfriend. Posting pictures of his girlfriend on Instagram to let the people know that he is, indeed, a man in love with a girl.

All while Zayn avoids it, refuses to have any part of it. He always thinks why he can't just tell the world he loves Liam, that he is _in love_ with a man. It shouldn't even matter to those who would be opposed, he doesn't give a flying fuck. He just wants to live a happy, normal life with Liam.

"Zayn," Liam whispers, sighing heavily. "Baby, please look at me." He orders softly, grasping Zayn's scruffy chin with his soft fingertips. "I love you. Only you. You know that."  
Zayn opens his mouth to talk, but is quickly shunned when an index finger is on his lips. "Do I not make it clear enough for you?"

"It's not that, Liam. It's not. You don't understand. You proposed in front of thousands of fans without telling me. Do you know how humiliated I felt? I wanted to puke." He thinks, mostly, that at least he had the audacity to "propose" in private. That really wasn't the case. He didn't have to do the whole one knee shit. The ring was delivered to her doorstep, throw in a few quick stories here and there, and there you go.

Zayn didn't have to propose in front of Liam. He would never. Even now, he wouldn't want Liam to witness what he himself has just witnessed.

To see the one you love ask someone else to get married, yeah, it's pretty bad.

"I can't think. I need to go." Zayn mutters, sniffling as he wipes the remainders with the back of his hand. He stands on his two feet, making his way out the door in a rush before Liam's soft voice halts him frozen.

"Don't. Please don't go. You're not, leaving me... Are you Zayn?" Liam can't hide the panic laced in his voice. His eyes are wide, scared, wondering if Zayn is ending this so suddenly. He could never do that, though, he would never leave Liam. He loves him too much to do that. He's his fucking soulmate, you don't let go of those.

No matter how tough the rough gets going. He didn't do all that pining for two years straight to just throw it all away for some silly engagement. It's just that, right now, Zayn needs to get out of the room. He can't _think_ , he needs a quick drag of a cigarette to calm himself down.

He wants to lash out on Liam; take out his anger and frustration, but he can't do that. He just needs to clear his head, wrap it around this whole situation and figure out what it is he wants to do.

Zayn tenses, fights the other wave of tears pooling at his eyes hearing Liam sound so fucking worried that he is going to leave him. The thing is bigger than anything they've dealt with, other than the engagement last year.

"No." Zayn's shaky voice responds. "I just need to go." And without looking back, he leaves the room, leaving a pondering Liam behind to wonder how the hell is he going to make up for this. It's a fucking engagement here, where one is supposed to settle down and start a family.

This isn't the usual shit where Liam pretends to be having the time of his life with her. Liam's gotten well aquatinted with Sophia, it doesn't even faze him one bit. They've actually become friends since the whole fiasco began. On the contrary, Zayn can't even look at her without grimacing or hissing. Louis is always checking up on him to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.

Just like he did tonight. He had noticed how Zayn's fists were balled up and just how badly he was trembling. Zayn is just thankful Louis was there to keep him from losing his temper.

Zayn's hoping he'll do the same for the next few concerts. He's going to need all the self control he can get.

 

****

 

It's like everything he does or sees just has something to do with Liam's fucking engagement. He can't even watch a bit of television without the headlines saying about Liam marrying his girlfriend. He's so _fucking_ sick of it. It's only been four days since the incident, and while he can't avoid the news being thrown left and right, he can however manage to avoid Liam.

It's a pretty childish thing to do, but hey, Liam doesn't really seem to be doing much about it either.

The best thing Zayn can do to avoid it all is by either staying in a different bus or stay in a hotel room by himself. Usually, he would share with Liam. He hasn't slept by his side in days, and he longs for that big, burly body to cover his smaller one. He misses Liam's warmth, his kisses, the I love you's.

He misses Liam altogether. But he's been on a run of fiancé duties to even give Zayn the time of day. It pisses him off even more that he smiles wide and proudly while holding her hand. She doesn't mind showing that big ass rock either.

Today's a day off, except really it's not, days off really aren't days off. Liam's working, selling it to the whole world that he's happily engaged while Zayn is in the tour bus, chilling in the back room and wondering what productive thing he can do that doesn't involve crying over the engagement. He's done enough of that.

The rest of the lads all actually went to have a day off. Harry and Niall went off to golf and Louis went to play some football with the local soccer team. He wishes Lou was here to tell him the right thing, because Louis always says the right thing. That's his best mate, he feels lucky to have a friend like Louis.

It's not until he's tired of playing the same Playstation game for hours that he hears the door to the bus open. He hopes it's Louis back from his match, but that theory is shut down when he sees it's Liam stumbling in. He realizes right away that Liam is drunk. Not belligerently, but just enough.

"Zayn. Babe, hey." He slurs. "I didn't know you'd be on this bus. You've been avoiding me." He drunkenly pouts from afar.

"No shit." Zayn counters.

Liam winces, feigning an ache in his heart. "Zayn," he groans. "What do I have to do to prove I'm sorry? I love you. I miss you." He steps closer to Zayn, making his way to the back room to sit next to him.

"You're drunk." Zayn states the obvious.

Liam rolls his eyes, chuckling. "No shit."

"What do you want, Liam? Shouldn't you be parading with your fiancée?" There's that ugly jealousy oozing it's way out. Zayn doesn't need to be jealous of a girl, but he is. Liam is his, only his.

"I want my boyfriend back." Liam ignores the rest of Zayn's words, inching himself closer to the hauntingly, beautiful neck that he hasn't tasted in a while. "I want us to be okay." He presses his lips onto Zayn's skin. _God_ does that feel so good.

"When you're not drunk, then we can talk." Zayn gruffs, standing from the couch, resisting all urges to fuck the entirety out of Liam just to show him who the hell he belongs to. He won't give in so easily though. Liam's going to have to do so much more than this. Ignoring him for the past few days really isn't helping either.

"You won't even talk to me when I'm sober." It's true. Honestly, Zayn really just can't think of a good excuse to keep avoiding Liam. He just needs to think still. He has a long way to go.

"I can't, you know, like pretend this is okay Liam. You can't just get drunk and then come here, try to seduce me, and expect things to be fine when you haven't reached out to me."

"I've been busy. You know that. You did this too." It may not seem right that Liam has to bring in Zayn's engagement into this chaotic situation, but this is another thing they now share in common. Liam doesn't want to remind Zayn that he too was a moping mess last year. It drained him; both physically and emotionally.

But Zayn doesn't think that's not a good enough of excuse just to blow him off this way. He needs a reasonable explanation, but he also needs to get his head right where he needs it to be.

"I didn't agree to do it in front of thousands of fans, especially in front of you. I could never Liam. I would never, ever do anything like that to you. Don't you get it?" Zayn can't emphasize that enough. The whole engagement has thrown him off. He's still not sure what their motives are, he finds it pretty fucking stupid that they thought wifing him up would give them some buzz.

Sure, for some time it will, but until the next big thing happens, no one will care. Liam will just be stuck being engaged to a girl he doesn't love.

"Zayn," Liam begins, slowly standing from the couch, thinking of something to say, but he frankly can't come up with anything to justify what he's been doing. Maybe he hasn't realized just how bad this thing is fucking Zayn up.

He's not a terrible boyfriend, but Liam sometimes tends to be oblivious towards what Zayn thinks or feels. He's afraid this whole thing has caused some serious damage, he's just doing what he's supposed to. At the end of the day, Liam _loves_ Zayn, and it shouldn't matter who he's engaged to, because it's not real. None of it is.

He's in love with a man, but to the world, he doesn't have eyes for anyone other than Sophia.

Zayn's gaze on Liam lingers for a while as they stand in the silence, one of them hoping the other breaks it. Eventually, it's Zayn who shakes his head slightly, snatching his sweater from the couch and his pack of cigs he's been meaning to smoke.

"Where are you going?" Liam drags each word with the slur of his speech. He's drunk, tired, and needs loads of sleep.

"Anywhere you're not." Zayn murmurs, waving him off before exiting the warm comfort of the tour bus.

 

****

 

It's been a week. A whole god damn week of endless chatters about Liam getting married. If Zayn hears the word engagement, marriage, or even Liam, he'll throw a fucking fit. He's tired of going online and seeing the thousands of videos of Liam proposing on stage. It's gotten to a point where Zayn just wants to tell everyone to shut the fuck up, that Liam is with him.

Except he can't do that, but he also can't keep pretending all of this isn't hurting him. _Fuck_ \--all he wants is his Liam back. Ever since they got engaged, Liam isn't doing anything that doesn't involve holding her damned hand, taking a stroll down some street, and showing off the big ring. It's wild, really, because Zayn thinks not even his engagement was this blown out of proportion.

He's pissed that the rest of the world is happy and continuing to smile, all while he cries at night, wanting to sneak into Liam's room and tell him that everything will be okay. But no, Liam hasn't even reached out to him. Liam's too busy being the perfect fucking fiancé. Hell, he's engaged too, but he knows Liam never liked that shit to begin with. So he doesn't shove it down his throat, but oblivious Liam doesn't realize he's doing that.

Zayn sometimes thinks where did he go wrong, if he fucked up somehow for Liam to ignore him and act like his heart isn't breaking piece by piece each second.

The concert that night ends again as it always does, lots of screaming fans and crying faces. Zayn wonders how he's not any of them. Usually, he and Liam would always interact on stage, but now he's even lucky if he gets a glance or two. Of fucking course Liam brought up the _thing_ again, like he has been the past few shows. It takes everything in Zayn not to roll his eyes, or look annoyed that his bandmate is getting married. The word's become like acid to his mouth.

Thankfully, he has Louis there with him. So it's not as bad, because he's not alone.

The boys rush off the stage, covered in sweat, maybe some blood, but overly exhausted. The show went great, however, if only Liam would stop being a turd, then it would go excellent.

"Malik," Zayn hears Louis call him over. "Where's Liam?"

"Dunno. Must've run off or something." He's not surprised in all honesty. Avoiding him will only last so long.

"You two," Louis shakes his head. "Let's go mate."

 

****

 

"I love him, Louis. I love that stupid idiot so much." Zayn huffs for the hundredth time to Louis as he takes another long drag of his cigarette.

Louis, being the great friend that he is, knew this is what Zayn needed. To just vent and tell him how much he _fucking_ hates that he loves Liam so damn much. Liam will always be that same person he fell in love with long ago. Zayn to this day can't believe how lucky he is to have someone as loving as Liam, but recently Liam's really been selling it.

He's been playing the engaged game so very well, it almost makes Zayn look like the world's most terrible fiancé. Sure he's not excited to be engaged to a woman whom means nothing to him and is only his work colleague either.

"Keep going. Say what you really feel." Louis encourages him as he himself drags a puff of his cigarette. The little shit loves it when he can have his best mate vent anything to him, mainly because he finds it pretty stupid that his two best friends _cannot_ seem to figure this shit out.

Everyone's tired of these two ignoring each other like it isn't effecting them when clearly it is. Zayn is just too stubborn and Liam never really catches on.

"Why is he smiling all the damn time? Is he happy to be engaged? I don't get it." Zayn angrily paces the balcony of his hotel suite. He just wishes this nightmare would end and that Liam will remind him that Zayn is the only person he wants to be with.

He always used to remind him about how lucky he is to have one of the most hottest, noble people as his boyfriend, but now he can't even get a glance?

It's fucking stupid. All of this is stupid, but Zayn won't do anything until Liam does, which is wrong. They're _both_ in the wrong here.

"Have you thought about, oh I don't know, talking to him?" Louis quips, leaning on the railing of the balcony. Zayn thinks what a dumb question, he should just throw Louis over that railing if he could.

He rolls his eyes, snorting. "He's busy. He's always busy with her and I can't stand it."

"Mate, Liam loves you. He's doing his job, just like you did." Yeah only Zayn didn't have to take it this far. It's going to make his head combust at some point.

"But Louis, like--why won't he acknowledge me? We haven't kissed in days or just cuddled. He's always tired after the stunts, and like-- _fuck_." He can't help but tug at his hair, wondering where the hell did it go all wrong.

Liam's relationship with her is fake, it's not real. So why is he acting like it is?

"Zayn, you know I don't like seeing my best mates like this. You love Liam and he loves you. Fix this shit."

 

"Does it look like I'm not trying?" Zayn snaps coarsely.

Louis throws his hands in the air as a sign of resignation. "Well to be honest, not really. Moping about it isn't doing shit, Zayn."

Zayn knows Louis' right, and fuck does that piss him off even more. Zayn has done the least minimal to make things right. He _knows_ he needs to give Liam the news flash, but he's afraid of saying the wrong thing. He knows he'll break just talking to Liam because-- _fuck_ ; how many people can actually say their boyfriend or girlfriend are getting married to someone they're not really with or even remotely in love with? Yeah, that's pretty rare.

"I know, I know." Zayn clenches his teeth together, closing his eyes as the pained expression takes over his soft features. "How can I though?"

"Just like, you know, approach him. Tell him to stop fucking around and realize that he loves you. He's just committed to the job." A little too committed, he thinks.

With one final drag of his cigarette, he throws the stub onto the ground, putting it out with his foot. Fuck it, if someone's going to do things right around here, it might as well be Zayn. It's now or never.

 

****

 

Okay, so Zayn _may_ have chickened out confronting Liam this morning during breakfast. The lads thought what a good idea it would be to have a morning together, since Zayn's plan overall was to talk to Liam. He swore to himself he would; he was going to, but not until Liam got the call that he's doing an interview about being a newly engaged man.

And yeah, _okay_ , he chickened out at lunch too. But in his defense, Liam was in a rush. The interview is like in half an hour, and he finds it odd that it's an interview only for Liam. Although, they are allowed to drop by and watch him talk about how much he loves his fiancée, how fucking perfect she is or some other nonessential shit.

Louis must have given him shit for _three_ hours straight, scolding him for being so damn proud.

Today started off even more unusual than ever, which is quite silly because Zayn thinks if it's even possible for things to get _more_ hectic.

Liam had this face that just said he wanted to say something, he stared at Zayn with so much bewilderment, wondering if he should say something or not. Zayn's kind of glad he didn't, because he honestly wouldn't know what to say. It's been so long since they've gone without talking. It's hurting Zayn more than he's willing to admit.

With the constant promo these days, the boys haven't really been able to rest. Whether it's about the engagement or the next show they'll be playing, it's taking a toll on them.

"Mate, you going to watch Liam's interview?" Louis asks he steps out of the bathroom, freshly showered with a robe around his body. "They're set up in the ballroom."

Does it look like he wants to be there? Watch his boyfriend talk about the nonexistent future with her? Yeah, that doesn't sound ideal.

Zayn scoffs at the idea, although it does sound tempting to see in person the actual bullshit that spills from his mouth. He wants to roll his eyes and continuously make witty comments after every sentence that praises her. He should make a drinking game out of it, really, but he might get alcohol poisoning from that.

"Not really." Zayn exhales, focusing his gaze on the television. Only he's not really watching it, it's just there to defeat the purpose. "But like, if you want, s'cool. Fine by me." He shrugs, knowing very good and well it's not. But he won't blame his band mates for supporting Liam on this. After all, Liam needs it from the lads, so he can't be all _that_ selfish.

Louis plops down next to Zayn on the couch, towel drying his hair. "Now what kind of friend would I be if I went to go see your boyfriend give an interview about how much he loves a girl when it's clearly tearing you apart? Not a very good one."

"Yeah, thanks." Zayn lets out a small laughter, more pitiful if you ask him. "S'fine Louis. Liam needs you boys too."

"Yeah," Louis stands from the couch, oddly quirking his eyebrows at Zayn. "But he may need you just a _bit_ more." He emphasizes each word with clear annunciation.

And with that sudden realization, he's absolutely right. This whole time he's been saying how much he needs Liam by his side, when in reality Liam needs Zayn now more than ever. Liam needs Zayn's support in this, the reassurance that they'll make it through this, again.

Because like, hey, if they did it the first time, they sure as hell can do it again.

It's taken him a while to finally notice it, but perhaps this whole time its been Liam who needs Zayn instead of the either way. He's not once shown his support on how brave Liam is for doing this, for taking one for the team because _god damn_ does Liam loves his boys so much he'll do anything for them.

He's now finding it unfair that Liam has had to deal with so much, has agreed to fake an engagement, and not even receive the support from his supposed beloved boyfriend.

"Shit," Zayn blurts, standing from the couch. "He needs me."

His feet can't seem to move any quicker across the wooden floor to get to the door. He's got to talk to Liam now. He _has_ to.

Liam needs him, his entirety, to remind him that he'll be there for him the way Liam was there for Zayn, because he's always fucking there for him and shit is Zayn so mad at himself for being so selfish.

Luckily, Liam's designated room is only a few doors down, and he wants to make it quick, before he has to head down to do his interview.

Zayn stops right in front of Liam's door, inhaling deeply as he remembers this is the first time they'll talk in _days_. He hasn't directly heard his name fall from Liam's mouth since. . . Well, he doesn't remember _all too well_ when it was the last time.

He's never been so nervous to just talk to Liam, it's practically gnawing at him right now.

Zayn's eager to knock on the door, but he's quickly taken aback when he sees it's already cracked open. He hears faint mumbles of a soft spoken voice tremble with utter distraught.

"Zayn, Zayn's been avoiding me mum. You know how he is, so I'd figure I'd just like, you know let him calm down but it just seems like he doesn't care... Mum you know I don't want lose him, he means everything to me."

Zayn's all ears now, listening to each word carefully and thoroughly.

"He's complicated, but I love him. He's _my_ Zayn, mum." Fuck, hearing Liam like that, all vulnerable and lost, it aches.

He didn't mean for this to happen, he just took orders because not taking them would only result in major consequences, he just wants to avoid them. Liam doesn't want to jeopardize his relationship and all of the boys' relationships amongst themselves.

Zayn wants to burst in through the door, but he can't, not when he's feeling like such shit and the vile knot in his throat is preventing him from speaking.

"I mean, yeah I'll like try to talk to him but I'm scared. I love him so much, I fear he's not going to be able to handle it."

 _Christ_ , is this why Liam distant himself from Zayn? Or was it the other way around? Either way, he doesn't comprehend.

Zayn hasn't felt this terrible since, well, a long time. All Liam wanted was his support but apparently the tables have turned and now Zayn's the oblivious one.

By the time everything is set up for Liam's interview in the ballroom, Zayn's mustered up the courage to accompany the rest of the boys to see it all go down. Liam would be lying if he wasn't shocked to see Zayn stand behind the camera crew along with everyone else. He for sure thought he'd avoid this too, since he's been doing his best at dodging the hell out of the topic.

The boys sympathize with Zayn and Liam, because no one else has it harder than them. Both engaged to people they _don't_ want to marry, because if anything, if Zayn's being honest, he'd marry Liam in a heartbeat.

He wouldn't ask questions, he'd just elope and get married because life is too short and fuck, if he's gonna get married it should be to Liam, because this type of love is eternal. Many others would say that's an exaggeration, but when you've been thrown every hardship in life, it's like your invincible. They'll try and try to knock you down, but the love is there.

And damn it does Zayn love Liam. He fell in love with his soulmate, he almost gave up until Liam _figured it out_.

"You good?" Louis asks Zayn, just for the reassurance that he won't lose his shit and say something during the interview that is on the near end of imperil

"M'fine." Zayn quips, letting out a shaky breath as Lou runs her fluffy brush over Liam's flushed cheeks. "I fucked up, didn't I?" He wants Louis to give him the world's most harshest response so that he remembers what a _shitty_ boyfriend he really is.

Louis wouldn't hesitate for a second to point out people's fuck ups, that's his favorite hobby. But Louis isn't always just giving witty remarks, because what he says leaves him thrown back.

"Not entirely just you. You two lads are just really good at avoiding each other, which is quite funny really because Harry and I suck at it." Louis whispers that last part.

"Thirty seconds!" One of the producer ladies with the weird, larger than her head headphones announces. "Quiet on the set."

"You've got this, babe." Zayn whispers to himself, intently watching Liam shake the nerves off him. He's not the type to get nervous, but when talking about this, his _every_ word has got to be careful.

"Three... Two... One, action!" Another crew member slams the slate, signaling that the interview has begun.

"So Liam, congratulations on your engagement. Must be exciting knowing that you're _finally_ settling down and that you found the one."

"Thank you!" Liam smiles his bright smile at the interviewer. "Definitely it's quite exciting really. Although I'll have to be honest, I found the one long ago." He murmurs, looking towards Zayn when he says it.

"What is it about her that suddenly made you realize like _'whoa this is it, she's the one for me'_?"

Liam chuckles, blushing when he's thought of something to say. Liam only blushes when he thinks of something cute he and Zayn did. "The fact that she understands me more than anyone, how she reminds me that I'm only human, the way she loves me for me." He states with affirmation.

It doesn't take Zayn too long to understand that Liam is talking about him. He's solid frozen where he stands.

"Have you guys ever gotten into fights where in the heat of the moment you said things you shouldn't have and then after that you forget about it?"

"Definitely." Liam mumbles. "Sometimes my actions have really _hurt_ the person I love, and I guess I'm too oblivious to realize that." _Fuck_ , he really is talking about Zayn. What is he doing? If he continues, well Zayn might run out of here.

He can't bear to hear Liam's voice like that, knowing that their relationship has been on edge recently. He hates hearing Liam sound like that, because he knows he can do something about it, but he's just been so stubborn he didn't realize Liam may have been hurting just as much as Zayn, or _worse_.

It's possible. Liam's a bit better at hiding his emotions than Zayn, which sometimes does work to his advantage.

"I guess, like I should really think about doing things and ask myself what's the consequence in doing this? Do I want to make the person I love mad at me or do I make things right, it depends."

"Does being engaged bring any consequences?" The interviewer asks, awaiting Liam's truthful answer.

Liam looks directly at Zayn's eyes, giving him that look that just says what he really wants to say. That it in fact does bring _lots_ of trouble, because who can answer in an honest way that it doesn't while the person you love has been hurting because of it. Liam can't say what he should say, and he definitely can't do it while Zayn is only a few feet away from him.

"No, no it doesn't." Liam feigns a happy smile, averting his eyes back to the interviewer. Everyone in the room has noticed how his eyes avert back and forth, but none of them seem to be aware at whom they're directed at. "But what I love most about our relationship," Liam begins. "Is that, no matter what we'll _always_ be there for each other."

"You're sure about that?" He's asked.

Liam nods, biting his lip and then releasing it right after. "I hope so." He chuckles. "And I just hope that she knows that whenever I mess up, I intend on fixing it."

By the end of the heart wrenching interview, Zayn can't believe that throughout the entire interview he kept referring to him. It was so subtle of him and Zayn can't help but admire that. Maybe now they'll _both_ realize it's not about who does what, more so that it's about combining the effort to support each other through this entire thing.

So, yeah they're both hardheaded idiots who could have figured this since day one, but with the shock factor and all, it hasn't been easy.

 

****

 

A few days later after the interview, they still haven't approached each other, but it's not because Zayn's still upset, although he still is, a lot. The constant buzz of Liam getting married just won't stop, he's tried becoming numb to it but it won't go away.

Last night he could have _sworn_ he felt Liam sneak into bed with him and pepper his bare back with feather like kisses. He was so _certain_ he felt Liam's muscular arms wrap around him so effortlessly, comforting him in the way only he knows how.

But Zayn had woken up only to realize it was just a dream, or maybe a hallucination because he hardly slept; he just kept thinking about Liam, and if he's happy, because his happiness is Zayn's priority.

And maybe he cried last night thinking about all the good times he and Liam spent together laughing, smiling and kissing. Some tears may have trickled down his pretty face but Zayn won't admit to it, because for proud men that's a pretty hard thing to do.

He misses the soft touch of his boyfriend's fingers whenever they'd kiss and it'd turn into a really hot tongue on tongue action, pulling at each other's hair. He also misses the sex, because _god_ has this been the longest they've gone without fucking each other's brains out. He misses Liam's tongue tracing every vein on his body, his lips coaxing his soft skin. It gets him hot and bothered just thinking about having really hot, sweaty, passionate and rough sex, especially when Liam's calling him daddy, or vice versa.

The simple sight of imagining Liam's mouth on him makes his cock jerk through the thin material of his sweats.

He can't recall how many times he's gotten himself off because Liam can't attend to his needs; so he took matters into his own hands. It's not the same though. Nothing's the same without Liam.

It's _yet_ again another grueling day, Zayn's really not planning doing anything but staying on the bus. It's fine, he doesn't mind. He likes being able to come in here and think to himself, reminiscing the good and bad times. He's not sure where his relationship with Liam stands, but he's never been more sure about how he feels.

He's spent most of the day drawing in his sketchbook, nothing specific, but he somehow keeps drawing funny looking pictures of Liam, or some other weird character. They're a day early for the next concert, which is fine, they don't mind.

Again, Liam's on his fiancé duties, and Zayn would be lying if he said he wasn't getting used to it. Apparently today they went out shopping, he's not sure. He's hardly sure of his surroundings lately to be quite honest.

He thought he'd read his brand new comic he bought inside his bunk. It's quite nifty and he rather prefers it than staying in some hotel room that should be shared between him and Liam. He was supposed to get this comic for Liam's birthday, since it's coming up. They've been so _eager_ to read what Marvel has recently come up with.

It's always been a thing of theirs; reading comics. They get teased about it, but they don't care. Liam will happily enjoy being a called a nerd for Zayn. He'd do anything for Zayn.

"Shit," he hears someone mumble from outside his bunk. Zayn swears he should have heard someone come in, the bus was empty when he got here. He clambers out of the bunk, landing successfully on the ground.

"Liam?" Zayn calls out, furrowing his eyebrows when he sees that familiar body wearing a tight, black henley with dark wash jeans. _Holy fuck_ , he looks hot. When doesn't he?

"Zayn?" Liam whirls around with a confused expression on his face.

That makes two of them.

He finds it weird how that's the first word they've exchanged in days. And fuck does it sound _so_ nice for Zayn to hear his name fall from Liam's mouth again. He was getting worried he'd forget his name or something, since it has been absent from those sinful like lips of his. They look so _damn_ plump, he's wondering how the hell has he managed to go on without them.

"Hi," Zayn breathes softly. His eyes avert to the small, black bag in Liam's hand that he's trying to hide.

"Yeah, hi." Liam murmurs back, feeling the palpability of the tension thick in the atmosphere. "Um, I was looking for, like a gift bag." He clears his throat. "I didn't know you were in here."

"I'm always in here." Zayn says as sternly as he can, attempting to show no emotion, but he feels it. The want to tell Liam he's so fucking sorry for being an idiot, that he loves him and only him. "You should know that." He whispers.

"Yeah," Liam snorts a small laugh. A nervous on that is. "Guess I should."

"If you need a gift bag, there's some over there." He points to the closet behind him.

Liam shakes his head, dismissing his instruction. "Don't really need it anymore." He grips the black bag tighter. "Was at the shopping center today, passed by the comic book store. Thought I'd get you that new comic we've-- _you've_ been wanting." He coughs again, correcting himself.

He carefully hands Zayn the bag, noticing it's the same one he recently bought for them both. He can't help the smile that tugs the corners of his lips, making him grin at the fact that Liam remembered.

"D'you like it? I mean, like, I thought of you when I saw it. Well, I'm always thinking of you really-" he's cut off abruptly by a pair of lips crashing against his.

He couldn't help himself anymore, he _couldn't_ take not kissing him for another second. He throws the comic onto one of the bunks as he pushes Liam backwards until his back hits something hard. Zayn doesn't stop at that; he's kissing him like a god damn savage. He's never kissed him this way, he thinks, but he likes it. _Fuck_ does he like it.

He tugs hard at Liam's lower lip with his teeth, making him whimper as his hands crawl underneath Zayn's shirt. "What are we doing?" Liam breathes heavily, panting like a madman. "Zayn, I'm-"

"No, I'm sorry. Listen to me, okay? You needed me, you needed me to support you through this, and I wasn't thinking about anyone else other than myself. I wasn't there Liam, and I am so, so sorry."

"Zayn-" Liam tries to protest but he's silenced again by Zayn's soft lips kissing him again. "I was so angry at you. You promised you'd always be there for me through anything, and when you stopped talking to me, I just. . . I lost it. I thought I had lost you for good." He hates this, he hates knowing Liam suffered too. The way his voice is full of emotion.

He's right, Zayn _knows_ he should have been there but he wasn't.

"I thought to myself how could you do this to me when I needed you, when I still need you by my side."

"Liam," Zayn sighs, his hands and arms firmly planted above Liam's head. "I'm so sorry. I'm a piece of shit boyfriend, I know. I hurt you." He admits truthfully, letting his head fall.

"You did hurt me." Liam grits. "But then I realized I hurt you too. I should have told you right away, this could have been avoided. All of this. Do you know how much I fucking miss you?" Liam's long, calloused fingers tickle Zayn's chin as he brings his head up to meet his soft and delicate eyes.

"I miss you too." Zayn whispers, leaning his forehead on Liam's.

"Why do we deliberately do this to each other?" Liam asks. If only he knew the answer to that question.

He thinks it's probably because of how dumb they are. They're still learning, so yeah, along the way they'll fuck up.

"Beats me." Zayn snorts, running his thumb over Liam's plump lip. "God, I've fucking _missed_ you Li."

"What are we going to do? We can't keep doing this, knowing that it's tearing us apart. I need to know that we'll be okay."

If there's something he knows, it's _definitely_ that.

He can't be without Liam, not in this lifetime or the next. He'd love to spend his whole life with Liam if that's possible, because he's always been certain that this is one of those _forever_ relationships, as cheesy as it sounds. He's always pictured himself old and gray with Liam on his side while they're retired in some beach house overlooking the Mediterranean Sea. That idea may be far fetched, but that's one life goal he'd like to fulfill with Liam.

"We will be." He knows this now. "I will be there for you, Liam." He promises with assurance. Zayn means it, wholeheartedly, they can't continue this way.

"I love you, Z. You know that right?" Oh he does.

"I do." He sighs contentedly, kissing the tip of Liam's nose. "I love you. I promise that no engagement will ruin us. We've worked too damn hard for this, Li. Fuck babe, you're my entire fucking world and the thought of _losing_ you scares me."

"You won't. Ever." He clarifies, telling him what Zayn's been wanting to hear since the beginning of this all. There's nothing more Zayn wanted than to hear Liam promise him that nothing's going to separate them.

Liam didn't just figure out he loves Zayn and then get it inked on him permanently for nothing. No, everything they do is symbolical to everything they've endured.

Zayn smiles as he reattaches his mouth to Liam's, savoring how amazing he tastes. Liam's tongue is driving him crazy as Zayn pushes his body flush against Liam's. "I missed your mouth." Liam whispers, catching Zayn's lip with his teeth.

"Did you?" He teases, chuckling as he nuzzles his head into Liam's neck, leaving wet kisses that make him shudder.

"Very much." Liam responds almost instantly, stifling the loud moan he really wants to let out.

"Well then," Zayn pulls back, going for the hem on his shirt and pulling it over his head to expose his inked chest and chiseled body. "Show me. _Fuck_ me Liam. Now." He demands so hotly Liam gets hard over it without missing a beat. "Fuck me like you've never. Remind me that I'm still yours."

"Zayn," Liam moans when his neck is being assaulted with hot and wet kisses. " _Fuck_." He hisses when Zayn's hand is pulling him by the belt hoops on his jeans. He holds his breath when those same, strong hands are unbuttoning his pants and pulling down his zipper. He thinks it's been to fucking long since he's had him this way.

He was kind of hoping they'd be able to talk a lot more, before fucking hard and slow. But Liam knows he can't resist Zayn, nor can Zayn resist Liam in this time of need. Zayn needs to be filled with Liam's cock buried deep inside him, fucking himself in and out until both of them lose sight of reality.

"Fuck, Zayn, if anyone needs to be fucked it's me. I need you, babe. Need to feel you punish me for being dumb. Yeah?" He groans when Zayn's cupping him through his boxers, all the blood rushing straight to his dick the moment Zayn's got a hand around it.

Except Zayn's not willing to give in so quickly, he wants this to _last_ , for a few hours at least, he's not sure. All he knows is that he needs a good fuck, _bad_. "How about," Zayn pauses as he nips at Liam's earlobe while continuously stroking his cock with the barrier of his boxer briefs becoming so _terribly_ uncomfortable. "We both fuck each other, on the ground. Get it out of our system, yeah?"

That idea sounds more than plausible, and Liam likes it. It's evident when he feels himself jerk in Zayn's palm that he whimpers a _yes_.

"Please," he begs. "Been deprived of you babe. Need you."

"Me too." Zayn sighs happily, a lazy smile casted on his face. "Get naked." He growls, launching himself at Liam in a rough kiss that he hopes will draw blood. Zayn's pulling hard at Liam's henley as he struggles to get the tight thing off Liam's torso. He's always admired how fucking fit Liam is; his strong arms, his thick thighs, his _everything_. He's so hot, sometimes Zayn wonders if he's worthy.

Only Liam asks himself the same thing. He's not sure how it is that Zayn fell in love with someone as dorky as him. But he's glad he did, or else Liam would have never experienced what it's like to love someone with this much intensity. He loves being in love, he loves Zayn. More than anyone could ever comprehend.

By the time they pull away to breathe, Zayn's sweatpants are pooled down by his feet. He kicks them off as Liam's hands tickle Zayn's back, the feeling of his fingertips caressing him always gets him off. He loves when Liam's tender and rough, he finds the contrast _so_ delightful.

He's so glad he didn't wear anything under these sweats. Easier access once Liam's jerking Zayn off with his hand. In one swift move, Zayn tugs Liam's jeans and boxers down, his cock springing free the tight confinement of his bulge. Any other second he would have ripped it off himself.

"You missed this huh? Touching each other, like this." Zayn hoarsely whispers next to Liam's ear. Both of them have a hand wrapped around each other, torturously stroking one another to see who will cave in first. "Missed by hand on your cock, babe? Hm?" Zayn further teases Liam, stifling a moan himself when Liam's circling his thumb around Zayn's dick, rubbing the precome all over his head.

"Want you to fuck me as bad as I want fuck you." Liam says as he thrusts slowly into Zayn's warm hand.

Zayn arches an eyebrow, highly aroused by how needy Liam sounds. "Yeah, babe? Wanna fuck me?"

Liam nods. "Only if you will." He stops for a moment, looking _dead_ straight into Zayn's eyes with the most sincere look ever.

The best part about them being in this relationship is not having to care who fucks who, or who does the harder work, because in the end they're both so _damn_ needy for each other it's incredulous.

Zayn helps Liam step out of his pants, both naked as they gaze at each other. Zayn has seen Liam naked an obscene amount of times but it's never enough. Liam can say the same. They fit into each other's hands so perfectly, it's uncommon.

"On the ground." Zayn carefully instructs, pushing Liam down by his shoulders. Liam doesn't bat an eye, obliging quickly as he lays on the ground of the bus.

It's gross, _really_ , to think of what's been down here, but he doesn't care.

Not when Zayn's grabbing a pack of condoms and lube, naked, in all of his holy glory. Liam is still so mesmerized by Zayn's beauty, naked or not, but fuck, when he's naked and completely exposed, it gets him going. He's so eager to run his tongue all over that tanned skin; suck and bite until Zayn's _begging_ for it.

"Love you so much, Li." Zayn whispers as he brushes his nose over Liam's lips. "I don't want to go through that again."

"I know." Liam agrees, running his hands along the length of Zayn's back. "I'm sorry, so damn sorry."

"M'gonna show you how sorry I am." Zayn smiles, kissing the tip of his nose. He begins a long trail of kisses from Liam's neck, to his chest, his abdomen, stopping right where his dick rests.

"Fuck," Liam heavily sighs when Zayn's mouth is wrapped around his cock, sucking harder and deeper, as much as his mouth with allow.

Fuck as he missed this, having Zayn's mouth please him this way. He doesn't deserve it, he thinks, not after all of this.

He hurt the person he loves, in front of thousands of people without even telling him. No matter how many times Liam got drunk since the engagement, it still wouldn't be enough to the numb the pain he feels he caused.

"Keep, keep going." Liam mumbles breathlessly, watching Zayn suck harder, deeper, using his tongue in the way he knows will get him off. He pushes Zayn's hair off his forehead, noticing how long it's getting, but he likes it. He can't wait to be able to pull on it, make Zayn come just by doing that.

God does Zayn _love_ this. He's missed the taste of Liam, his smell--fucking _everything_. He bobs his head up and down on Liam's length, leaving his mouth on Liam's tip before smirking when he hears Liam moan uncontrollably. He loves that shit.

He can't believe how good Zayn is at this. He takes it to a whole other level and it drives him mad.

But Zayn doesn't get Liam off just yet. If he's going to make him come, he's going to do it until he rides him. That would be now.

He let's go of Liam's cock with a popping sound, pleased with himself when he sees Liam a panting, miserable mess. That's so hot. Big, buff Liam a mess because of his boyfriend.

"You're gorgeous, Li." Zayn smiles, happy as ever to see Liam's sweat already form on his forehead.

Zayn has a hand wrapped around Liam's dick, stroking him as he admires the beauty that lays beneath him. He's so impatient to feel Liam's cock deep inside him until he lets out a cry of pleasure.

Liam's eyes are closed, lips slightly parted. His eyes pop wide open, though, when he sees Zayn straddling him, rolling down the condom on Liam's shift and slicking him up with a good amount of lube.

He watches Zayn slowly sink himself down Liam's cock, all the way until it's out of sight. Zayn can't help but roll his eyes to the back of his head as he reels in how fucking amazing it is to be filled by Liam this way. It _never_ gets old.

"Fuck, Li." Zayn hisses, chuckling when he steadies himself on Liam's chest. "Either you've gotten bigger or you don't fuck me enough."

"I definitely don't fuck you enough." Liam agrees, bending his knees to help Zayn start that rhythmic movement that makes them both moan. He's got his hands on Zayn's slim waist, thrusting upwardly into Zayn's gaping hole. "So good, Zayn."

 

"Fuck," Zayn let's out a shattering breath as he moves his hips in circles. "Fuck, Liam. Faster." He demands, screwing his eyes shut as he meets Liam's thrusts.

 

Liam obliges, of course, slamming his cock deeper and deeper until it's physically impossible.

"I love you. So. Damn. Much." Liam grunts, fucking up until Zayn let's out an embarrassing squeak. "Always know how to make me feel good."

Zayn doesn't respond, but that's only because he can't. He's so lost in Liam right now, he just wants to ride him till he's spent. But oh does he plan to give it to Liam.

His rhythm is making Liam's dick hurt, but in a good way. Zayn's bouncing so damn fast it's going to kill him, or Liam; most likely both.

Liam's cock slips out but it goes right back in, Zayn sinking down lower, grinding on his hips. He's sure he will have bruises come tomorrow morning.

"That's it. Come on, Zayn. Be a good boy for daddy."

"Yes, daddy." Zayn says, circling his hips, hitting that certain spot that will make Liam come.

Liam holds onto Zayn's arms, digging his nails on Zayn's skin. He bucks his hips up to meet that rhythm, until it's become too much to even care. Liam fucks as Zayn grinds, the sound of his pelvis hitting Zayn's ass. He's so balls deep right now, he's not going to last much longer.

"Come for me daddy, come on. You know you want to." Zayn murmurs, slowing down on Liam's sore dick.

Liam loves when Zayn calls him daddy, even when the roles are reversed, because he loves when Zayn's in charge. Just like he will be after this.

With a few more thrusts, Liam can't hold it any longer. With a shuddering cry, he comes, stilling himself inside Zayn as his orgasm spurts out of his aching dick. Zayn clenches around Liam, riding him slower to ride out what seems like his never ending orgasm.

"Shit." Liam mumbles once he's done thirsting. "You've made a mess out of me."

"Have I now?" Zayn smiles, letting Liam's shaft fall out. "I've been a mess without you, Li."

"So have I." It feels so good to be talking to Zayn again. He's missed all of this, he's missed everything about Zayn and he _swears_ he would have lost his mind if he'd gone another day without speaking to him.

Being engaged to someone you don't love sucks, but what sucks even more is the thought of losing the one you do love. And Liam loves his boy. Zayn wouldn't understand how much Liam cares for him.

"Fuck me, Zayn." Now it is Liam's turn to be a greedy cockslut.

Zayn loves greedy Liam. All muscles and endless workouts, but in reality, when it's Zayn's turn to pound Liam's ass, he's a mess. He's looking at Zayn with this look of desperation; complete and total need. So hungry to feel Zayn fill him up.

"Want me to?" Zayn kisses Liam's chest, grinning against his hot skin. "Want me to make you feel good."

He whimpers. "God, _yes_."

"You sure, babe?" He's smirking again. _What a prick_! A super hot one at that.

Liam groans in frustration. "Please. I just need to know that you still love me." And there it is. The reason why Liam needs this reassurance, because he's been so scared that Zayn stopped loving him the moment he got engaged.

Right now, that doesn't matter. Zayn doesn't care that Liam proposed in a stadium full of supportive fans, or that he's spent almost every god damn waking moment with that woman. This is about Zayn showing Liam that he _still_ loves him, and that he always will.

"I love you, Liam. I promise. I once said I'd love you forever, and I meant it." Zayn whispers, smoothing out the creases on Liam's worried forehead. "Spread your legs." He orders, and Liam does. Even in this narrow hallway, he's opened them wide enough for Zayn to fit in perfectly.

He's rolled down the condom and lube on himself, aligning himself up where Liam just needs him. He needs this, just as much as Zayn does.

"Don't ever think I'd stop loving you for a second. You are my everything Liam Payne, and I refuse to let some engagement ruin that." If it wasn't because he's so horny and ready to wreck Liam, he'd be crying. He can't believe what he's hearing, but then again he can. This love is forever, and he's going to show Liam just that.

"I love you, Zaynie."

"I love you, Li." Zayn smiles, pushing back those forsaken tears that were threatening to spill a few seconds ago. Slowly, he pushes himself inside of Liam, automatically feeling oh right he is. Well, he hasn't gotten a proper fuck in over a week. And he needs to be properly fucked.

"Oh fuck." Liam croaks out, his voice heavy and hoarse.

"So fucking tight Leeyum. Maybe _I_ don't fuck you enough." Which is probably true. They're so busy all the time, but sneaking a few quick fucks just isn't satisfying enough. Although this, _th_ is is what they needed.

Zayn goes in deeper, so deep that he's sure he has hit Liam's prostate. Fuck, they're going to be sore for days. Both of them will be walking funny, and many will most likely disregard it. After all, they're both "happily" engaged.

He draws his hips back, slamming them back in so that Liam feels it. Boy does he feel it.

Zayn hisses when he's all the way in. His cock is throbbing as he starts a pace of thrusts that makes Liam roll his eyes to the very back of his head.

"So. Good." Liam mutters, his mouth parted as he breathes in heavy, sharp breaths. He gasps out when Zayn starts pounding, hard, fast; it's hard to tell what he's doing.

He can't help but grin when Liam's turned into a helpless mess again. So he keeps fucking him, in and out. He feels that build up in his groin, but he mustn't come. _Not yet_.

"Gonna come again, Liam? Want to? Yeah, daddy?" Did he really have to? His use of the word only makes Liam rip off the condom he has on, throwing it towards some random bunk. _(He really hopes it's not in any of the boys' bunks. They've done that one too many times; they don't need another lecture about that one again.)_

He thrusts mercilessly into Liam's now fragile body, his shouts for Zayn to go harder, and Zayn does. He thinks it's impossible to go any harder, but he does, and he so fucking loves it. Liam was made for him, as well as he was made for Liam.

Liam strokes his own cock as Zayn keeps going, reaching his high; it's coming. He's going to come and it's going to make his whole body tremble. He's never felt this why while making love to him. Could be because of how much he's missed him, and _god_ has he.

"Fucking hell, Liam." Zayn grits though clenched teeth, thinking what a champ! Taking his cock like it's nothing. "M'gonna come. Shit, oh god." He furrows his brows together, his mouth open as he stares at the way his dick disappears in and out of Liam.

" _Daddy_ ," Liam breathes, and that's all Zayn needs to hear before his dick twitches inside of Liam and he's coming so hard his body is racked in trembles. Liam comes again, getting off to Zayn coming, because his orgasm face is the hottest thing he's ever laid his eyes on.

Zayn's thighs shake as the condom suffocating his dick catches every bit of come spurting out like there's no tomorrow. God damn, he's positive he's never come that sporadically. _Holy fuck!_

"Fuck." Zayn collapses on top of Liam. And of course, Liam being the gentleman he is, cradles Zayn into his arms. He hugs his head as he calms his harsh breathing. He's drenched in sweat, his hair sticking to his forehead. What a beautiful sight. They're both fucked out, but that was by far the best fuck, make up sex--whatever you want to call it.

After a few silenced seconds of nothing but their ragged breaths, Zayn somehow manages to pull out, his dick now half hard, wrapping his arms around Liam's torso once he's got the condom off. _(He might have thrown it towards one of the bunks, so they may indeed go through the lecture, again.)_

"You good?" Liam asks Zayn, both sprawled on the ground naked and exhausted.

"M'good." Zayn answers, nuzzling his head further into Liam's sweaty neck. "S'good Liam."

"You're not using many words you know." Liam chuckles, feeling Zayn's heartbeat thump less radically.

"I know." Zayn shrugs, softly kissing Liam's birthmark. "Don't want to say anything that will ruin this moment."

"Nothing you say can ruin this." He murmurs, kissing Zayn's sweaty forehead.

"I already bought the comic you got me." He tells him, although that doesn't seem really important now. It's for the comedic relief.

"S'okay." Liam chuckles, tangling his limbs with Zayn's. "Can we never do that again?"

"The sex?" Zayn is quick to react.

"No," Liam sighs. "Stop talking to each other and pretend like we don't exist. I hate that."

"I hate it too. Funny innit? Both of us engaged?" He'll actually laugh at the idea right now, because how ridiculous does it sound that two men who love each other are engaged to women? They'd hope it'd be to each other, because it would be so nice to hear Liam Malik, or Zayn Payne. Whichever sounds best.

"That's our life, babe." And quite a terrible one. Well for a small portion of the time.

"One day it won't have to be." Zayn pulls a blanket from one the bunks, covering their sweaty, naked bodies. "One day it'll just be me and you. No more gimmicks."

"Yeah," Liam agrees. "I'd like to marry you one day."

"Yeah?" Zayn chuckles, kissing Liam's bare shoulder. "Me too."

Liam snorts, actually liking the sound of that idea. "You're insane."

"Only for you."

And it's true. He isn't this outrageous when it comes to ideas unless it involves Liam. But he's not afraid to share his opinion, and he'd love to marry Liam. He doesn't care who's opposed to it, because all he wants is a future with him. Start a family, watch their kids grow up, because Zayn wants a boy and a girl. He's _sure_ the boy would be like him and the girl would _definitely_ be like Liam.

"You think we'll be all right?" Liam asks, just out of pure curiosity.

Zayn knows the answer to this. Without a doubt in his mind, he now knows him and Liam can conquer anything. No engagement can ruin this. He's so positive about that he'd be willing to put his life on it.

He loves Liam too much, they'll be okay. They always will be. There will always be a solution to every problem, but they can fix it. _Love prevails_.

It _always_ does.

 

"Yeah, Liam. We'll definitely be fine." That's a _promise_.


End file.
